Christmas and the end of the universe
by kalahie
Summary: HouseWilson fluff. The ducklings get christmas presents, Wilson looses his virginity, House has uletior motives and Cuddy likes her some slash. Did i mention its complete fluff?


TITEL: Christmas  
RATING: Teen-ish?  
PAIRING: House/Wilson  
SPOILERS: None.  
DISCLAIMER: They're not mine, I just play with them.

The universe was officially going to collapse into itself. Chase was sure of it. He glanced at the sky expecting to see the heavens collapsing, shit catching on fire and possibly screaming children. All he saw was a soft steady snowfall and a dark early Christmas morning sky, and by early he meant two o'clock in the morning early. He had volunteered for a shift in NICU. He figured he might as well work into the early hours of the holiday, that way he could sleep for the rest of the day and be done with the whole thing.

Cameron he knew had been suckered into doing clinic time by Cuddy, and Forman was keeping watch over their latest patient.

"Hey." The neurologist greeted him entering the room.

"Hey." Chase said absently, staring at the table. Oh right, the end of the universe, that's what he had been thinking about.

Forman gave him an odd look, and followed his gaze to the table. He scoffed a little.

"Cameron?" He guessed. Who else would get them presents? He smirked at the three neatly wrapped packages on the conference table.

"Not from me." The immunologist interrupted, smiling at her coworkers. Forman gave the presents a dubious but amused look.

"Santa?" He offered.

"House." Chase supplied, his voice serious, but coloured with a hint of hysteria. Forman laughed again, and Cameron snickered dismissively and picked up the present closest to her. Her laugh stopped dead.

"Oh my god. He's right."

Forman furrowed his eyebrows. Santa was more likely. Sure enough though CHASE was scrawled on a small label in unmistakable script.

"You think they're rigged to explode?" Forman said, disbelief turning into fear. He backed away. Cameron picked up the next present, labelled FORMAN. She shook it and there was a hollow rattling noise, but no explosion. Lastly she picked up the one marked CAMERON.

They shared a dubious look, and then Cameron sighed and tore carefully at the paper. Chase gave one last glance to Forman before following suit.

Cameron gave a bemused to look into her box. A singular pink dry erase marker lay inside of it. She looked up to see the boys staring in equal confusion at their own dry erase markers, Forman's predictably black, and Chase's a pale shade of blue.

They Forman pulled out a note from the bottom of his box. He read.

You only get one.

Don't waist them.

The ducklings shared a look, and then started to laugh.

Wilson stood in total disbelief beside House on the balcony.

"I can't believe you got them gifts." His voice almost cracked in shock.

"Yep. Now I do believe you owe me your virginity."

"What!" Wilson spluttered.

"Who has it by the way? High school cheerleader? Valedictorian? English teacher?" He looked way to smug for Wilson to be even remotely comfortable.

"House, what the hell are you talking about."

"We made a deal, my niceness for your virginity."

Wilson just stared in disbelief, then groaned. He was wondering what had transpired last night after his 9th tequila.

"House, I didn't…" House just raised an eyebrow.

The exact same look he had given him last night when Wilson had said that if he got his staff and Cuddy Christmas presents he'd let house have his way with him. It had been flirty he supposed, but it had also been the result of way to much liquor, not enough sex and complete faith that House would never do it. Not that House would have to do anything to molest Wilson; he'd let him get away with it for free. He felt his body flush in the cold winter night.

"I…I believe cuddy was part of that deal." He managed.

"Then lets go." House leered. Wilson shuddered.

Cuddy was just leaving when House and a rather embarrassed looking Wilson strolled into her office.

"House!" She blinked. "What are you doing h…."

She didn't get the rest of the words out because at that exact moment House grabbed the lapels of Wilson's jacket and gave him a kiss that would have made Sue Johansson blush and Cuddy chocked a little.

The only two words that Cuddy could in fact think of were 'absurd' and 'hot'. She watched slack jawed as Houses right hand gripped Wilson's hair so hard it had to hurt, his left resting not so innocently on the oncologist's ass. Wilson whimpered a little after he was done being completely shell shocked, one hand grabbing houses leather coat and his other holding his neck. Absurdly hot.

When house finally broke away Wilson stumbled a bit, readjusting his weight. He had two initial reactions. One, the slightly saner one, was to run like a scared wombat and hide out in Canada. The other was to throw House over Cuddy's desk and do unspeakably rude things to him. Since neither was practical he just stood there, face heating up slowly, supporting houses weight.

He has dropped his cane when he reached for Wilson.

The look on Cuddy's face however was worth whatever embarrassment he was sure to suffer later.

She looked shocked, embarrassed, slightly aroused, and terribly amused. House gave her a very self-satisfied grin.

"Merry Christmas Dr. Cuddy." And then he turned and limped out the door, Wilson handing him his cane and all but running from his boss. As the door closed he was absolutely sure he heard the distinct sound of giggling.

Wilson didn't speak on the way to the elevator, his facial expression perfectly neutral. House was starting to worry, until the doors dinning shut.

"Are you insane!" Wilson exploded, dumbfounded look on his face, a flush creeping up his cheeks.

"You wanted me to get her a present. What's better that live porn?" House shrugged.

Wilson's eyes got wider. "With two of her MALE department heads?" The flush was still growing, and House had a feeling it was spreading to more than just his face.

"You should see her porn collection. Besides I didn't hear you complaining." Smug was houses standby expression. Wilson got redder.

"Well i...you…" Wilson floundered.

"You liked it. Which is good because I plan on you living up to your end of the bargain." House smirked.

"You did all this to get into my pants?" Wilson laughed disbelieving, yet amused.

"Is it working?"

Wilson pushed him up against the elevator door in response. House was happy enough to let him his free hand going back to Wilson's hair. Wilson's hands were pressed against the elevator pinning house in place; he crashed his mouth back onto Houses.

"I'll take that as a yes." He murmured into Wilson's mouth.

"Keep talking and I'll bite your tongue." Wilson growled, nipping at Houses lip to accent the point.

And then the doors opened. To three very shocked ducklings. Wilson all but flew off of House. House just smirked.

It was Cameron who started it. First it was only a grin, but soon it turned into a full scale giggling fit. Chase stared next his body shaking in silent laughter. Forman was trying to hide a grin. They exchanged places without a word. Cameron smiled at house from inside the elevator.

"Merry Christmas Dr. House. Dr. Wilson."

"Merry Christmas Allison." Wilson smiled lightly, his embarrassment replaced by a sort of weary acceptance. He doubted this would be the last time that this sort of thing would happen. Well with any luck it wouldn't be.

The doors pinged shut.

"Chinese? I TiVo-ed the O.C" House offered as they walked out of the hospital.

"Guess I'm sleeping on the couch again then?"

"Only if my bed's been stolen by gypsies."

Wilson laughed a little. "I trust you have beer?" House smiled victoriously.

And grabbed Wilson's ass.


End file.
